and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
