who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
