Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My pussy is not your playground.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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