Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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