Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
