Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
