i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize