Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize