I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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