i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
This is the high leading the old right now
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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