Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
