My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
