I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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