Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
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