I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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