also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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