Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
be right there i have to get my cape
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
