She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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