please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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