hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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