in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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