My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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