I skipped work to stalk him.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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