I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
