Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
