Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
