Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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