so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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