there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
