My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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