My friends, they love my intelligence
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
