Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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