Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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