I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
