Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
