Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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