bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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