Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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