i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize