Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
