Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize
