I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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