No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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