I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
