THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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