There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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