PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize