I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
