of course. lets lasso hookers.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
