Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
