You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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