gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
