THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
