Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
