She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
